Unaccustomed Earth

able to sleep well without having to wait and not to toss and turn is a gift.. Blessed are the people who can do that.. here I am past midnight on a Saturday unable to secure a visit from the goddess of sleeep (She is beautiful.. Isn't she ??) .. After a controversial post let's move on to something normal.. A book review ! When ever I read book reviews from the NewYorkTimes I was almost always awed by the reviewers' ability to see through the author and dissect their writing .. Although I cannot even hold a candle to the person who can hold a candle to these reviewers.. Nevertheless I will add my two cents and try to tell my version ..

Unaccustomed Earth

It's a collection of short stories by Jhumpa Lahiri the Pulitzer winning writer who won acclaim for her other works "Interpreter of Maladies " and "The NameSake". I started reading her work when I was at Auburn and liked her way of writing about NRI Bengalis and their overseas adventures... Her characters consist of people trying to assimilate into this country's culture but unable to due to their identities or this country's reluctance to accept them as one among themselves.

Coming to Unaccustomed earth the title story of the book which deals with the relationship between Ruma a lawyer who is married to Adam (all of Ms Lahiri's Bengali characters would have either loved or married Americans) and her father. The story brings to light of how Ruma struggles to cope with the pressures of pregnancy and how she wishes her mother would have been around.. Her father pays her a visit between his world tours and she wishes he would stay with her forever.. But he feels a belongingness with a lady who he meets during a tour to Italy and cannot stay with Ruma..

'Hell-heaven' is a story about a married lady who falls for a man she meets in Harvard Yard taking her daughter for a walk.The story is narrated through her daughter and it's about how age makes people wise,less hasty and sensible..

In 'Only Goodness' we learn about 'Sudha' who has a brother with a drinking problem and how she thinks she is the reason for it and tries unsuccessfully to change him until it reaches crescendo and threatens to destroy her own family..

' Choice of Accommodations' is a story about a night gone wrong when a couple attends the marrriage of the husband's school friend..

In 'Nobody's Business' we come across Sang (americanized Sangeetha) and how she falls for an egyptian guy and appears to be in bliss when things start falling apart and it is left to her housemate to come to her help whom she suspects of having a crush on her .. (You see in America housemates can be guys.. ).. you cannot stop feeling sorry for Sang after reading this and the character Sang stays with you for a while..

'Hema and Kaushik' is a trilogy of stories which start with Hema narrating how she felt when kaushik's family visit them to stay with them for a few days.. and then it's Kaushik turn to describe how his life took turns and finally they both meet in Rome and celebrate life and go separate ways again..

My Opinion :

The emotional grip that Ms Lahiri has on her characters is amazing.. The characters stir varied emotions in you while reading.. if you have seen or read 'The Namesake' you should remember Moushumi, the character who married kal Penn (Gogol ).. when I was reading the book and read how Moushumi cheats on Gogol... I was so outraged that my Yahoo IM had the caption of "I hate Moushumi " for the next week .. In this book I felt the same emotions for "Sang". "Sex" too plays a large role in her stories and Novel. Although I am not too much bothered by it I wish she doesn't portray her characters as sex crazy ppl.. (The Namesake). I think she can acquit herself well by breaking the monotony of writing about Bengalis and deal with other subjects as well.. I should say I was not so thrilled by this book.. Maybe it's just a case if expecting too much (No .. not again.. !) I was very impressed by her earlier work and was looking forward to read this ,, I think I got bored about reading bengalis' stories of America.. it is difficult to match or reach expectations if you are writing on the same topic and if you're previous works are already touted as best. Ms Lahiri was one of my favorite authors and still remains as one.. I would suggest people to get this book and start turning away the pages..

Expectations...

one of my friends Karthik posed the question of how to win over expectations ? (Please see comments section of my earlier post.. ) . He also remarked that it is quite natural to expect from other people what we are ready to give .. I agree to this but think that it's not when you expect that a problem arises but when you get carried away and expect too much .. How long are you going to give someone to reach the level of expectations that you have set for them? how patient can you be ? Many times people do not ask you to go out of your way to help them.. it's only your inclination to give what it takes and then maybe expect the same in return.. for example you recognize a friends need without being asked and help him/her and expect the other person to also recognize when you are in need of help with out you actually asking him.. while it's great if that happens but if it doesn't then you should be able to ask him/her for help and move on rather than make an issue of the other person not becoming your alter ego .. Hello ! they didn't ask you to help out without asking.. it's only your over enthusiasm that prevailed.. I would say there are two ways to not fall into this trap

1) let them ask you for help

2) don't expect them to do exactly the same things as you did ..

An Ideal scenario would be you finding your expectations met but it shouldn't bother you much if it didn't happen.. think of it as normal (not ideal .. ) and move on.. Hey I think even asking not to think about it too is too idealistic .. but as they say "forgive your enemies but don't forget what they did" .. so remember and redeem .. remember what they did or in most cases didn't do to you .. If you think it's just a minor glitch in their behavior or a case of different circumstances forget it, else review your actions toward them.. maybe they don't deserve your over attention anymore..

I always tell this to some of my friends.. If you stand in the center and draw concentric circles with each circle representing the access level and the nearest circle having your closest friends .. who would have the ability to hurt you most ?? the people nearest to you .. the people who you think are good friends and so have let them stay in the closest circle .. so rethink your decisions .. they didn't come there, you brought them there .. you have put them in a position from where everything they do or not do affects you.. so know more about your people before you put them in positions from where they can hurt you.. also remember the people in the closest circle not only can hurt you but can also make your stay in the earth memorable.. so look at the brighter side of things and have a ball...