Expectations...

one of my friends Karthik posed the question of how to win over expectations ? (Please see comments section of my earlier post.. ) . He also remarked that it is quite natural to expect from other people what we are ready to give .. I agree to this but think that it's not when you expect that a problem arises but when you get carried away and expect too much .. How long are you going to give someone to reach the level of expectations that you have set for them? how patient can you be ? Many times people do not ask you to go out of your way to help them.. it's only your inclination to give what it takes and then maybe expect the same in return.. for example you recognize a friends need without being asked and help him/her and expect the other person to also recognize when you are in need of help with out you actually asking him.. while it's great if that happens but if it doesn't then you should be able to ask him/her for help and move on rather than make an issue of the other person not becoming your alter ego .. Hello ! they didn't ask you to help out without asking.. it's only your over enthusiasm that prevailed.. I would say there are two ways to not fall into this trap

1) let them ask you for help

2) don't expect them to do exactly the same things as you did ..

An Ideal scenario would be you finding your expectations met but it shouldn't bother you much if it didn't happen.. think of it as normal (not ideal .. ) and move on.. Hey I think even asking not to think about it too is too idealistic .. but as they say "forgive your enemies but don't forget what they did" .. so remember and redeem .. remember what they did or in most cases didn't do to you .. If you think it's just a minor glitch in their behavior or a case of different circumstances forget it, else review your actions toward them.. maybe they don't deserve your over attention anymore..

I always tell this to some of my friends.. If you stand in the center and draw concentric circles with each circle representing the access level and the nearest circle having your closest friends .. who would have the ability to hurt you most ?? the people nearest to you .. the people who you think are good friends and so have let them stay in the closest circle .. so rethink your decisions .. they didn't come there, you brought them there .. you have put them in a position from where everything they do or not do affects you.. so know more about your people before you put them in positions from where they can hurt you.. also remember the people in the closest circle not only can hurt you but can also make your stay in the earth memorable.. so look at the brighter side of things and have a ball...